Every Day is National Coming Out Day

October 11th is National Coming Out Day. It marks the day in 1987 when half a million people took part in the March on Washington for lesbian and gay rights. It’s a day to celebrate coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, asexual, or wherever you fall on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. This is an important day for LGBTQ+ people, but the reality is, when you’re a LGBTQ+ person, every day is national coming out day.

I remember having a conversation in my German Film class where one of my classmates, a presumably heterosexual, cisgender, white, male argued that we’ve come along way when it came to LGBTQ+ issues. He argued that it was as normal to be LGBTQ+ as it was to be heterosexual. While I agreed with him that we’ve come along way, I argued that we still had a very long way to go. I explained to him that being LGBTQ+ still isn’t considered the “norm” because every time I introduce a new person into my life, I come out. Correct me, my straight friends, if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure none of you have had “come out” as heterosexual. My classmate argued that he was “just trying to be optimistic,” and while I appreciated his optimism, having to continuously “come out” is the reality for most LGBTQ+ people.

When I first “came out” a few years ago, it never dawned on me that this wouldn’t be a “one time” thing, but that I would have to continuously “come out” for the rest of my life. This is due to the fact that we live in a heteronormative society. In other words, we live in a world where being heterosexual is seen as the norm.

I think K who is a contributing comic artist for Everyday Feminism, said it best in their comic “The Whole Truth of Coming Out of the Closet – In Comic Form,”

When we talk about Closets and Coming Out, we’re really talking about how we occupy identities and space that run counter to social norms. In short, when you Come Out, you are explicitly declaring yourself as Other, Not Normal, and Unexpected.

Coming out is never easy and it’s important to note that for some LGBTQ+ people there are other parts of their identities that are often overlooked by both mainstream society and even within the LGBTQ+ community. These identities can include things like race, sex, gender, ability, religion, class, and so much more. I myself am a not only bisexual, but I am also a woman and I am also a woman of color. My identities as a bisexual woman of color are not mutually exclusive, but rather they intersect. Regardless of whether or not you fall somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, I think it’s important to understand this intersection of identities. These intersections can sometimes add an additional layer of difficulty when it comes to coming out.

The most important thing to understand about coming out is that it’s a journey and like K said in “The Whole Truth of Coming Out of the Closet – In Comic Form,” it is not a linear one. In honor of National Coming Out Day, I have made a list of some of my favorite podcasts, videos, and articles on everything LGBTQ+ from coming out to your immigrant parents, binaries, and the importance of having allies.

Here is a list of some of my favorite podcasts, videos, and articles relating to everything LGBTQ+

Sincerely,
Alexis Renae Griggs

Videos

I‘m excited to announce that I have finally made a YouTube channel. As I mention in the video, I have been wanting to make videos for a very long time now, but for some reason, I never really felt ready. Well, I have come to a point in my life where I finally feel ready to take on this new adventure. I hope you enjoy my very first video.

Sincerely,
Alexis Renae Griggs

Lace and Faux Leather

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset
Photos by Aarron Griggs

It’s finally starting to feel like fall here where I live. Well, sort of. I’m just happy it’s not 90º or higher. It’s that awkward time of year where we start to transition from summer into fall. A California fall will never compare to the ones I experienced in Washington, but I like to pretend by wearing some of my favorite fall staples. I picked up this dress a few months ago at JcPenney and I absolutely love it. It’s such a versatile dress. It can be dressed up or down and is an easy piece to transition from season to season.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

Click the links below to see where everything’s from. I try my best to find the original items online, but sometimes they’re sold out so I always try to link similar options below.

DRESS (SIMILAR)CARDIGAN (SIMILAR)BOOTSHAT (SIMILAR)LIPS

You may have seen this dress on my Instagram where I paired it with lace up sandals and a pair of sunglasses. To make this outfit more “fall appropriate” all I did was throw on a cardigan and switched out my sandals for my favorite pair of faux leather chelsea boots. The floppy hat is optional. I have a lot of exciting content coming this month as I am challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone. So stay tuned.

Sincerely,
Alexis Griggs

Top 5 Lip Colors for Fall with Ana Duarte

Fall is my favorite season. I love everything about it from the weather to the fashion. Not to mention pumpkin flavored everything. Makeup is no exception. During this time of year, I break out my mauves and bold colored lip products. Today I’m sharing my top 5 lip colors for fall. This is in collaboration with my friend Ana Duarte.

KathleenLights x OFRA in Havana Nights
When I want to wear a bold lip without having to worry about reapplying throughout the day, I always reach for OFRA Cosmetics Long Lasting Liquid Lipsticks in Havana Nights. The formula is a mousse like texture which can make these liquid lipsticks tricky to apply. Nothing a lip brush and concealer can’t fix! I wore this lip color to a birthday party where I stuffed my face with lumpia ‘AKA’ the ultimate lips test and it stayed on for hours.

Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lip in Divine Wine
If you’re someone who’s looking to try a matte lip for the first time, I definitely recommend Maybelline’s Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lips. They have a wide range of colors, but Divine Wine is easily one of my favorite colors in their wide range of shades. The colors are really beautiful, comfortable to wear, and easy to apply.

ftth8839
Marvelous Mauve

SEPHORA COLLECTION Cream Lip Stain in 13 Marvelous Mauve
There’s a reason that the name of this lip stain is Marvelous Mauve. It is the perfect mauve lip color. The formula of this lip stain is similar to OFRA Cosmetics Long Lasting Liquid Lipsticks in that it is a mousse like texture. However, it doesn’t have the same lasting power as OFRA’s, but it does stay on longer than your typical lipstick. Plus, you won’t find another mauve like this.

Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lip in Touch of Spice
This color is the perfect everyday lip. It just adds a nice wash of color to the face. I love that you can build up the intensity for a semi-bold lip or you can dab it on your lips for a more subtle look.

Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip in Frick N’ Frack
This has been one of my go-to lip colors as of lately. Frick ’N Frack is a beautiful rosy terra-cotta color. My favorite way to wear this color is to dab this on my lips. Then, I use my fingers to blend it out. Because this formula is satin, it isn’t going to last on your lips for a long period of time. However, I find that with this color in particular, it fades nicely.

Let me know what your favorite lip color for fall is in the comment section below. Be sure to check out Ana’s Top 5 Lip Colors for Fall and show her some love.

Sincerely,
Alexis Renae Griggs

Why A Feminist Will Never Date You

This article is in response to an article called, “Why I’ll Never Date A Feminist” by Dave Hon. I was casually scrolling through Twitter when I saw that Never Date A Feminist was trending. Intrigued, I clicked on it knowing very well what I getting myself into and saw several people tweeting about this article. I read it and decided to write a blog post about it.

If you look for a reason to hate feminists, chances are you’re going to find it. The truth is, I don’t blame Dave. He’s been fed outdated stereotypes about feminists that are frankly an eye-roll. Bra burning, lesbian, man haters who don’t shave their armpits? Yawn! I’ve heard it all before. He talks about the wage gap and rape culture on college campuses as if they don’t exist, but they do. Please see “4 Reasons Why the Wage Gap Isn’t a Myth” by Marina Watanabe and Kat Blaque’s video “What is Rape Culture?”

There are several issues in this article that I “really, really disagree” with. However, there is one thing that we can agree on: the justice system also fails men. Men are also victims of sexual assault and rape as is evident with the endless number of articles on Everyday Feminism on male rape survivors. Men, specifically black men, are far more likely to go to prison. An article called “What Are the Odds You’ll Go to Prison?” talks about how 1 out of 3 black men are more likely to be sent to prison versus white men where the ratio is only 1 out of 17.

He linked an article called “Father’s Rights and Abortion.” I could list a million different reasons as to why a woman might consider an abortion, but I won’t because it doesn’t fucking matter. Women are more than capable of making their own decisions without having to consult their partners. Of course, they can if they choose to, but they shouldn’t have to ask for permission.

Earlier in the article he makes a bold statement saying that, “People who are more loyal to their gender and not their significant other don’t make good partners.” You’re damn right I am loyal to myself and yes that includes my gender. That also includes my sexuality, race, abilities, flaws, and everything else about me. You cannot have one part of me without the others. It’s nonnegotiable and if a potential partner believes that doesn’t make me a “good partner” then “I’m on to the next one,” as Jay-Z said.

At the end of the day, this is a sad and disgusting article written by a privileged, white, heterosexual cisgendered man who feels as though women owe him something. We don’t. That is why a feminist will never date you, not because you’re male, but because you’re a self-entitled asshole.

Sincerely,
Alexis Renae Griggs
Derogatory, Hypocritical, and Vindictive Third-Wave Feminist